efatland / blog

10 Reasons not to quit smoking

I am a smoker and not ashamed of it. Here are ten reasons for you not to be ashamed either.
  1. Cigarettes reduce stress.
  2. Cigarettes give pause when you weren't aware of your genuine need for pause.
  3. Cigarettes actually make you smarter and slimmer.
  4. That money you would have saved on not buying cigarettes, what makes you think you would have spent it on anything usefull in stead?
  5. Those years you'll gain by not smoking, what makes you think you won't spend them playing bingo and bitching about your children?
  6. Solitary cigarette breaks are a form of prayer, or meditation.
  7. Smokers tend to be more interesting people.
  8. Is there anything more pathetic than an on-again-off-again smoker?
  9. Is there anything more obnoxious than a moralising ex-smoker?
  10. cigarettes and coffee. cigarettes and beer. cigarettes and whisky. the first cigarette in the morning. the cigarette after dinner. the cigarette after coitus.